If all mothers can relate to me, you know that you go through a big change the moment you gave birth to your beautiful baby. I used to have time to dress up, make up, wear pretty dresses and high heel. but now, I'm clad in T-shirt and cotton pants, most of the time. I rarely attend weddings or other functions. Even if I do, I wear my work clothes cause that's what I'm now comfortable in. Easy and fast.

The last thing I want to worry is having dark circles, eye bag, wrinkles and other signs of aging. Enough of having fashion disaster, I want to avoid looking like a zombie. Away with my dream of being a 'hot mama' cause that's not gonna happen until #babyjedi turns 2 *roll eyes*.

I used to walk along the shelves in Watson looking at this glass bottle containing gold flakes and wonder if it really works. The price is not expensive but it wouldn't be any of use if I don't apply them on my face. Then one day I thought 'Now or never'.

It's similar to SK II Miracle Water but it comes with REAL gold flakes infused in the bottle itself. Price wise, it's affordable and it can last you many, many, many months.

It has been over a month since I started using it and honestly I kinda like the result. With lack of sleep after having Isa, it protects my skin from the harsh radical contained in our air. This water also gave me the moisture that I need for my skin. But the one thing I dislike is, it tends to leave this sticky feeling on your skin and takes time to fully absorb.

1. Formulated with 98% genuine 24K GOLD, Bio-essence's 24K Bio-Gold series promises to restore skin's natural glow with various all-in-one benefits:
2. Glow from within
3. Uniquely enhanced with Bio-Energy Fluid, 24K Bio-Gold is formulated to promote rapid absorption into skin to give you long-lasting smooth, moiturized, soft and youthful complexion, forming a strong protective shield over skin to fight free radicals and slow down signs of ageing.

When you're pregnant with your first born, everything seems irresistible. When you walk pass baby section in hypermarket, you go all WOW with baby stuff and you find them so cute. And when that happens, you usually end up buying stuff that you don't need.

I often forget that July is a special month for the 2 most important person in my life. It's the birthday of my dad and Juan. Last year, I forgot Juan's birthday and remembered only after about 2 weeks
 -___-' . He gave me a black face for the whole week and I had to hear him ungkit for the next few weeks after that. Gosh.

And today, I knew my dad's birthday when I saw a notification on my Skype. Goodness sake. Previously I never remember anyone's birthday except for my sister and myself. Don't ask me why but I just can't remember.

My dad is a very very very simple person and my sister and I often tell everything to my dad. From education, movies, politics, boys, we talk almost anything and everything with him. Although he travels most of his life and stays far away from the family, we never felt the distance cause he's constantly catching up on us.

This year is extra special cause my dad is celebrating his birthday as a first time grand dad. Hahahaha.

So here a shout out to the hero of my life. Happy Birthday daddy. Semoga panjang umur, murah rezeki and diberikan kesihatan yang baik untuk jaga cucu yang baru nak tumbuh gigi *laugh*

So this year will be my first year and first time celebrating Mother's Day. It didn't hit me in the head that I'll be one of the million mothers around the world being celebrated until a few days before. I was excited, not to mention happy too. Although #babyjedi couldn't talk yet but I know he wished me telepathically 😃 .

Anywho, I was in my hometown the week of Mother's Day, so practically we had 2 mums in the house (me and my mum). I wanted to have KFC while my mum wanted pizza. We had to choose and I think you know where we headed. Obviously mummy Timah has made her decision, so no one can say 'No'.

It was just the 4 of us as Juan stayed back in Penang. Got a call from Dianah, wishing me 'Happy Mother's Day, kak'. It was really surreal being able to celebrate this special occasion at last. For all the hard work mothers had to do, difficulties mothers had to deal with especially working mums out there.

#babyjedi is turning 4 months in a few weeks time. I can't believe that he's that big already. I remember feeling labor pain like yesterday. He's in the talking phase now so it's fun to have conversation with him cause he's a smiling baby too. Not to mention throwing tantrum every time during his nap time. Other than that, whenever you talk to him, he smiles. How can I not melt ☺

We didn't took any photo of the celebration cause were too busy attending to #babyjedi cause he was crying all over the restaurant cause it was past his bedtime and daddy was panic that he choke on his tea -__-'. What a drama...

If you haven't read about my journey in giving birth to #babyjedi, you can read it here

By the time I was fully dilated, it was about 3 pm. I was sleeping like a baby before that after getting a shot of pain killer at my butt. It was so good to get a quick rest after not being to sleep the whole night.

I felt a shake when I opened my eyes. It was the nurse who woke me up and asking me to push the baby. By the time my eyes were wide awake (but still drowsy), my gynae was in front of me with my legs wide open -__-' . It was a battle. The nurses and midwive asked me to push whenever I feel a contraction. I did and all I can feel is my shit splurging out. Oh God. In the end, they decided that #isayong had to be vacuumed out because I was losing energy and that it's taking too long for him to come out.

By the time I went 'kong', I could see the nurse was measuring #isayong and walking towards me (my visions were still blurry at that time). I had skin-to-skin contact for about an hour before I was pushed to my room. That was the last time I saw my baby until about 10pm, when the meds were 50% out of my system. I walked to the nursery to breastfeed him for the first time. Didn't have difficulty in walking but I walked slowly to make sure I didnt' tear the stitches open. I felt so awkward having a little human hanging onto your boob but the feeling was indescribable. I was very lucky that my milk kicked in even before I was in labor. It was around 3rd trimester and the fact that #isayong could latch right away, he makes breastfeeding quite a breeze although now I'm struggling a little on how to latch him properly. My labor was easy as well as my pregnancy. Now to focus on grooming #isayong into a #hipsterbaby .Hahahaha
Having #isayong and being a mother for the first time will always be the best memory I've ever had in my life. It's definitely a lifetime learning for all of us. I've always been scared about how things will turn out once the baby is here. Well, it was definitely a life changing experience. To be honest, I'm still adjusting myself as a mother, scheduling my activity around the baby, juggling between work and having to commute weekly to see him, planning his future savings, etc.  I was a wee bit adjusting at first but now , slowly I'm getting a hang of it. I told myself to take things one step at a time and not to overthink things, filtering out what's important and what's not. Planning is very important when you have a baby.

So those who's not ready to have a child yet, don't worry too much. Anak itu rezeki and alhamdulillah #isayong has been nothing but blessing to me, Juan and both my parents. You'll never be ready for anything so sometimes you have to go with the flow and let nature takes its course. Insyaallah, you'll be prepared than ever.

So my breastfeeding journey started 2 months ago, the moment Isa was born. I was really, really lucky that I'm a oversupply mum. I'm blessed with abundant of breast milk and had to pump every 2 to 3 hours. So Isa has more than enough supply of milk for the next many,many months. I even had to purchase a 80 liter chest freezer to accommodate my expressed breast milk. Whenever I open the freezer, I see lights lit up as though you opened a chest full of gold (people don't call it liquid gold for no reason).

Ok, when I was pregnant, even BEFORE I was pregnant, I imagined myself as a mother, dressing up nicely, holding my son's hand, walking around the mall. Imagine Victoria Beckham walking with her children. Hot isn't it. Well, fast forward to 9 months and after Isa was born, I'm STILL clad in T-shirt and cotton pants with nursing bra on the inside even AFTER confinement. Not to mention my clothes smells of breast milk.

What society or men imagined breast feeding is, 'how hard can it be?'. The milk will always be there, all you need to do is get the baby into the correct position and latch on. DONE! How I wish it was that simple. Breast feeding is not easy let alone for working mothers. We have to juggle between pumping and getting your work done on time.  'Drenched' in breast milk, blocked duct, engorgement, mastitis, cracked nipple, etc.

It felt like yesterday when I gave birth to Isa. And now, 2 months has past. At first, I doubt that I could produce this much of milk. I don't really have friends or family members who exclusively breast feed their baby for 1 or 2 years, so it was a wee bit hard to actually learn. So my guru was YouTube. Thank God to the person who created YouTube -__-'

I prepared myself for breastfeeding way before Isa was born. I read, talk to experienced people, watching videos. It's a different experience for each individual. Some babies manage to latch on naturally (like mine) and some are hard. Breast feeding is not hard nor easy, It depends on how you take it in.

I'm still adjusting my new role as a mum. I hardly have enough sleep due to my pumping schedule but I'm happy to do it for as long as I can provide the best for my baby. Only at certain times, when you body starts to shutdown and tired, you just want to quit. But looking at how healthy your baby is after feeding on breast milk, it makes all the hard work worth it.

SUPPORT from you friends and family are definitely the main pillar in breast feeding. You can take any milk booster you want, see the best lactation consultant there is, massage as much as possible, but if you have lack of support especially your partner, it can't work either. I've seen many of my friends just gave up on breast feeding because they don't have support from family. It's sad to see this happen especially when your body has an abundant of supply.

Breastfeeding is hard work and determination. It all comes from the mind. It's amazing how God created women. They have the ability to carry a full term baby for 9 months and produces milk as source of food for the baby. It's just....pure amazement.

Right after my marriage, 2 years ago, I didn't plan to have a baby. The plan was to travel around as husband and wife, get to know each other and do things together as halal partner. That was before. 2 years later, baby Isa was born. Truthfully, I wished that I had Isa 2 years ago. Meaning, no planning needed . It's actually nice to hear baby's cry in your house :-). Don't include the lack of sleep, by the way, the vomit on your bed, the poo and pee.

Since the birth of Isa, I have not had enough sleep. For someone like me, sleep is on top of everything else in the world. However I was prepared for that when I got pregnant. Sometimes, I lose my cool while taking care of my son due to sleep deprive. Well, I think it happens to everyone.

It was hard for the first 2 weeks because Isa was admitted to hospital due to his jaundice although it wasn't serious but doc didn't wanna take any risk. I was going up and down the hospital like mad woman. I didn't had proper pantang meal, let alone a proper rest. But I was determine. Determine to make sure that Isa's jaundice heal. So although I had to breastfeed him and pump every 2 to 3 hours, I did it. It was tired and I almost gave up. But the strength came out of no where although my body is shutting down but my mind was still going strong.

The birth of Isa has definitely gave an impact to me especially. Isa made me stronger than I was before. A strength that I thought I didn't have. I wasn't like this previously. My priority also changed. Nothing else matter except attending to Isa's need. Whatever I do, it goes back to him. He also make me realize that life is simple. All you have to do is be happy. Isa is a smile-baby. He's in the 'talking' phase now. So whenever you talk to him, he'll laugh or smile. When he wakes up, he smile too.

Now I look forward to see him end of the day. Although I had to travel to and fro on a weekly basis to Perlis, I don't mind doing it and I hope that God will give me the strength to do this for the next 1 year.

Truthfully, having a child really make a different, Your whole world changed. What you think not important, suddenly becomes important to you. Even your reading material changes -__-. That's how much of a changes. Your shopping habit also change. For Juan, his new hobby is collecting Star Wars clothes for his son. Soon our home will turn into a museum.

As I type this, #babyjedi is currently sleeping in front of the TV while my parents are away to visit the passing of our neighbor. So I'm all alone. I'm almost 2 months into motherhood but it has been nothing but amazing and a learning phase for me and Juan.

I'm very blessed to have a smooth pregnancy as well as delivery. Alhamdulillah.

It all started on the 16th Feb midnight around 11pm when me and Juan were about to head to bed. Since it was my first pregnancy, I couldn't differentiate between Brixton Hicks or a real contraction. I don't even know how Braxton Hicks feels like. I assume it was just a normal phase in a final trimester. I tried to switch position like how I normally do but this time, it didn't work. I rule out 50% that it was real labor because my expectation is that I would deliver after my DUE DATE. That's what normally happens to first time mother-to-be. I end up sitting on the couch till 4 am and that was when I felt a sharp pain, come and go, 15 to 20 minutes interval, below my abdomen. I woke Juan up and decided to head to the emergency department at the hospital.

Upon reaching the hospital, I was wheeled to a small room to check my cervix. The nurse told me that my cervix has soften, however there was no opening yet but there was mild contraction. I was hooked up onto a machine for 30 minutes to monitor the baby's heart beat. Juan was there the whole time. After that 30 minutes, the nurse confirmed that baby was in good condition and asked me if I want to be warded. I decided to go home since there was no opening.

Reaching home, I continue sitting down on the couch while Juan went back to bed. I didn't sleep till 8am when my contraction came so hard but bearable that I couldn't even close my eyes. This time, it was around 5 to 10 minutes interval. I woke Juan up and decided to head to the hospital.....AGAIN. This time, I decided to be warded.

It was 9am when I was wheeled into the labor room. It felt like forever before I was told to pushed the baby out. Everything was fine until around 12pm when the nurse came in to check on my progress. I was only 2cm dilated so they has to induced me further so that my cervix dilates faster since my water bag has broken earlier that morning without me realizing it. But I told the nurse that I felt a gush of water coming out while I was in the toilet doing my business earlier on. I thought it was my urine. So to avoid any complications, doctor decided to fasten the delivery process.

Within 15 minutes being induced, I felt as of my stomach was about to burst -__-. I told myself that this is going to be my first and last experience being pregnant. To make it worst, the nurse had to increase the dose. Within 2 hours I was dilated 7cm!!!. Woah!!!, That was the start of everything.....