So, you tossed to happily ever after on your wedding day. Cutting that cake which cost you your one day pay, going table to table giggling away with your friends and family, receiving endless angpows and gifts. Then, the day after, you realized that you're married to a man which supposedly your Mr.Right for the ladies and Other Half for the men. That is when all the hanky panky things start to come out. The bad habit of your partner, the not-so-amusing in laws, the accident scars that your partner had for a long time, etc.
Your Facebook and Tweets were full of images tagged by your friends, and people start giving Congratulations comments in it.
Sometimes hard truths we all face after marriage, and how they teach us about what love really means. You know life is not like in fairytales. But I have to admit that somewhere deep in our subconscious, we envisioned of Cinderella, or maybe Sleeping Beauty. The images may be vague and a little outdated, but you can still make out the silhouette of the bride and Prince Charming riding off into the sunset.
In reality, sometimes your Disney fairy tale ends up feeling more like a Star Wars movie— and you're the chick who keeps falling down and screaming for her life. Let's face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your love for each other will pull both of you through. It does...at times. But it ain't always like that.
When you get married, you think that you have picked the right guy — your soul mate — you'll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he is, he doesn't make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were married at the first place. You think to yourself, 'This is so not what I signed up for'.
When everyone knew you were getting married, there goes all the marriage advises in the world. "Marriage takes 2 person to work it out" you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. You will struggle to compromise some annoying habit, like persistent snoring or picking his nose in public.
Whoever told a newlyweds "Never go to bed angry" doesn't know what it's like inside a bedroom where tears and accusations fly as one talks the other into a woozy stupor until night meets the dawn. If this scenario sounds familiar, so be it. Even when you do manage to stay focused and on topic, there are some fights that stubbornly refuse to die by bedtime. And if you stifle your real feelings just to meet some arbitrary deadline, your marriage will surely be the worse for it.
There is a bit of that fantasy in all of us — certain things that makes us believe we can change the person we love, make him just a little bit closer to perfect. We may use support and empathy or shouts and ultimatums, but with persistent belief we take on this huge responsibility, convince ourseleves that we're doing the right thing. Whatever our motives, the effort is exhausting. Changing a full-grown man — removing him of decades-old habits and beliefs — is truly an impossible task. And you will come to realize, sooner than later if you're lucky, that it is far easier to change the way you respond to him.
That's the strange thing of marriage: It's full of hard times and hard lessons that no one can ever prepare you for. Those tossing, congratulating words, and positive comments on your Facebook are just temporary. In the end, you and your spouse are the ones who has to face these hard knuckle reality of marriage.
