It took me a while to finish up this post. I'm worry that I might say the wrong thing. You know, people can twist your words in social media. With so many things going around and with my hands are tied, I can't find time to actually write this post till today. I have so many things to think about and the last thing I want is people throwing words and sarcasm at me about this issue. So this is my side of the story about donning the hijab:

As some of you noticed, I had once posted a post, mentioning about having the intention to don the tudung previously. You can see me, on and off with the tudung on my social media. I have more photos of me wearing the tudung compared to previously. I have people asking me or curious to know whether I have actually do it full time. The answer is, No. Sorry to disappoint you.

 Islam is not about forcing and Islam itself does not judge but we, the outcome of our Creator, are sadly. All the wars around the world are created by us not Him. I may not be as pious as some of you but I know my limits. I know some of you have good intention. But I do hope that you can stop asking me what am I actually planning to do. I'm in the learning stage and I believe everyone is in their leaning curve. Learning never end. I'm trying to do what is right and I think I know which is right and which is wrong. Yes, along the way, I feel like giving up. I thought to myself, why am I doing this?But I get help from Him to give me strength to continue, if what I'm doing is right. 

If you ask me whether, am I scared, excited or nervous, etc? Of course I do. I can't expect how society would see me as a person donning the hijab. Throughout my life, I only wear them during school years because it was compulsory for Muslim girls. To be wearing them again for the rest of my life, is the next big thing for me. It's change, which I can say, Alhamdulillah, at the end of the day. But that doesn't change me as a friend, wife or daughter.

Every religion are different. So don't judge each other. At the end of the day, it comes back to you. So don't criticize or being sarcastic about others. Look at yourself first before saying about others. We're made of blood and flesh and we bleed if we're wounded. We all have the same blood in us.

I want to do this the right way. When you have the intention to do something good, you already gain 'pahala', let alone doing itself. The 'pahala' is even bigger. I know some of us could change overnight. Remember, not everyone. You do not have the right to judge a person if she's learning to cover up her aurat, even if it means 'sometimes'. At least she already started to practice and she made the first move. She already have the intention. We wear hijab to please Allah, not others. So why judge? Why?

" The deeds are considered by their intentions, and a person will get the reward according to his intentions. So whoever emigrated for Allah and his Messenger, then his emigration will be for Allah and his Messenger; and whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration would be for what he emigrated for." ~Al-Bukhari

Covering up is not just about covering up your 'aurat'. It's about changing your lifestyle too. How you act, your attitude, how you talk to others, respecting people and so on. It's about covering inside out. Each and every one of us has the right to make decision for themselves, so leave this to me. It's between me and Him. It doesn't change the fact that I'm a Muslim. Don't be judgmental. We're equal on this temporary world. Instead, be happy that your 'sisters' are changing to a betterment. How about you? Have you started yet? Question yourself before you question others. You are no near to perfect, so do I, but at least we're trying to learn about our religion. Not just by religion written on your birth certificate.

For me, covering up your aurat is a beautiful thing. Do not tarnish this with your ungrateful words. It hurts. Give good advise, smile to that person when speaking, tell her that she's doing a good deed. We, humans, are fuel by motivation from others. So please don't tell me you're not. You like when people compliment you in any aspect, beauty particularly. That's one of the reason Allah created us. To support each other. No one can live alone forever. We're all destined to help each other as brothers and sisters. We all came from one source so don't create the differences. You and me are no different. Full of sins and now, trying to change. 

To those non-Muslims, it doesn't change your Muslim friend into someone else, she is still that blur and quirky girl you knew back then. It's just that she choose a different path. A path that gives her the tranquility and peace she long needed.