From my title, I believe every working adult can relate themselves to me. It's a dilemma that we face every single day at work.

Working and juggling a family at the same time is not easy. I used to share quotes on my Facebook page about putting family first. I can't deny that it is true and nothing more than that. But when it comes to doing it, you just can't. Neither do I. 

There was this incident when my boss informed us that we had to work on a project during one weekend. Coincidentally, I've had plans and hotel has been booked too. It was supposed to be a road trip with Juan. I was torn in between stepping up to my boss's expectation and the trip. In the end, I canceled the trip and chose the project instead. I dun deny that I thrive for success and climbing up the corporate ladder is my goal.

As I was driving back home afterwards, a sense of guilt overcome me. I was so disappointed with myself. Contradict to what I believe that family comes first. It was not the first time. It happened many times that every time this happen, I feel bad but I still do it. Was it because I depend too much on what others will say. Like 'She's not the only one who has family'. Sometimes, I gave chance to those who has children to take leave or give me excuse that they are not able to work on certain date and that I had to cover their ass. But I forget that I'm married and I have family too. I always tell myself to learn to say no to people at certain extend but it never happen. The thought of having to disappoint others make me feel like a bad person. Like I'm not doing enough for others. See, it's all about other people.

So I decided to not work during my company shutdown every end of the year. No peeping office email, not talking about work. So during my last visit to Singapore, I brought my mum too. We did not plan anything. It was a carefree, no-schedule kind of holiday. Meeting up with cousins, my aunties, jalan-jalan cari makan. I wish the 10 days didn't end cause I know that the cycle will repeat again. Do you have this dilemma too?