2018 has been challenging but great at the same time. Not only that, it changed my view on things that actually lead to happiness This year has opened my eyes on things I should be focusing this coming 2019.

I've been going on a self-reflection journey for the past couple of months. Looking back on things I have done right or wrong for this year. It has been an eye opener to not just me but the whole family. I have discovered so many things in life that surprises me. Plus, to get myself prepared to brace the new year.

I wanted 2019 to solely focus on things that really matters. With all this in mind, I guess I do not have time to think of other matters, which I think is good. When you have too much time in hand, your mind starts to wander off. That is why sometimes you're unable to achieve your goals. You're too distracted. I want to focus on positive things. Surround myself with good vibes only. Taking negative things that I consider as learning curve. Part and parcel of life which I cannot avoid and everyone of us knows that life consist of black and white, yin and yang, ups and downs, left and right. They come hand in hand and it is a matter of balancing both sides. You can't avoid them.

I realized that the smallest and simplest thing in life holds the biggest part in our heart. I learn to be grateful in many ways. I compare myself with people who are less fortunate and yet I complained so much. So what more do I want?

We're moving to a new house next year, insyaallah and I thought this is the best time for me to start fresh. Reorganize my entire life and future.

This year has been so good that we can only thank God for all the blessings and rezeki that me and Juan received. We were so overwhelming with what has happened in 2018. In a positive perspective. So for 2019, I thought it would be fair for me to repay His kindness by doing myself a favor in learning how to be a better Muslim, in every sense. It has to start with ourselves la kan.

I need to learn to sometimes pause and take 1 step back so that my mind is not overwhelmed with too many things. Being a working mum is hard. You have to juggle between your day time job and being a mum/wife. Sometimes you forget that your family is not your subordinates.

Ever since Isa came into our life, he taught me the meaning of patience. A meaning  I could not grasp before I had him. He also taught me to be very,very grateful with everything and anything I have in my life. Simple thing like giving him my pots and pans to play, he is already happy. I used to seek happiness in materials. It made me believe that the more materials you have, the more happier you'll be. The more friends you have, the better your support system is. But Isa change my perception of happiness. It's about simplicity. A really simple life because logically, at the end of your life, the only thing that you will bring together with you are your deeds.

One of the many videos I have watched recently, below is one of my favorite. How this refugee family see the simplest thing in their everyday life as something they treasure. I learn to appreciate the smallest thing I have in my possession. No matter how small they are because you might have something that other people have been longing to experience it like peace and safe. It's a very general word but to some extend, it means the world for others. Watch it and you'll understand why

So for 2019, I only wish the best for me and my family, travel more, spend quality time with people that matters, take time to reflect, be a good person, be humble, be grateful, take a step back when I feel overwhelmed and tak mau mengumpat orang dah (nie susah skit la *laughing*). And for this, I wish nothing but the best to everyone and Happy New Year.

Double Tree Penang has 316 rooms and suites, equipped with WiFi, private furnished balcony and partial or full sea views. You can choose spacious suite for a separate living area, balcony, walk-in shower and bathtub. But all these are based on availability. You'll also receive a chocolate chip cookie upon check in and they're really delicious, served warm and crunchy with hazelnut in it. So you can taste it's freshness.

It is a family themed resort with a Sand Lounge (artificial beach), Kids Zone; Water Park as well as a TeddyVille; Malaysia’s 1st teddy bear museum.


The room itself was sooo spacious that you can fit around 4 to 5 person. The sofa seat is a bed itself when you pull it out and can fit 2 person each time. I didn't capture it here. Each bed has 2 pillows and the bed is super single size but European version. The room also has choices of tea and coffee and a mini bar in a built in (hidden) cupboard, beside the TV.

TV channel also comprises sports, cartoon, movies and local channels. So you can actually spend you day at the hotel without going out because there are tonnes of activities available. There is also gym for health junkies, swimming pool, kids club which open from 10am till 7pm. So you can leave your kids there and get a private moment with your spouse.



Compliment toiletries were from Crabtree and Evelyn. I had to sneak the lotion home cause it smells soooo good. I wanted take all but I had too many hotel toiletries at home that are yet to be used. The shower was spacious and cozy with high pressure rainfall shower head. Basic amenities like toothbrush, shower cap, sanitary plastic are available at the sink but for others like sewing kit, are upon request.

Oh God, I've been having serious writer's block for the past few week. not just that, work was crazy for me and I have been sleeping late at night. Now, my body reads DAY as NIGHT and NIGHT as DAY. Thatttt crazy. Plus I have not recover from my flu which I got from my mum. #babyjedi just recovered from fever and flu as well. I was so worry that he could not attend his 1st day of nursery. So 2017 has just past a few days ago and I could see soooo many resolution feed and instastory on my Instagram *evil laugh*. So what's my resolution? Nope, nothing. So what happened in 2017?

1. I became a mummy!!!
Well, this top off my 2017 list cause it's the best thing ever happened in my life. I became a first time mum to #babyjedi who is now 11 months old. Oh God, where has the time gone. He's probably crying looking for me at the nursery *sigh*. It's his 3rd day of school.

Well, it's every new mother's goal or dream to breast feed their child until the age of 2 but not every mother has the privilege of doing it. It's not so bad. For as long as your child grow up into a healthy kid, then it's good enough. A mum gotta do what a mum got to do, right?

I've been receiving questions on how can my output can be soooo much, what I ate to increase my yield, how's my diet like. Oversupply to be exact. Oversupply can be something good but at the same time, it can also be a disadvantage for breastfeeding mum like me.

I'm currently 9 months into breastfeeding and alhamdulillah, I can still pump as much although the number of pumping session decrease by time and still can donate some of my breast milk to other babies :-). Fortunately I still have a large stash of frozen breast milk at my mum's place as well as my own place. Thank God that #babyjedi is such an easy baby to take care that he don't mind drinking chilled, frozen or direct feed even when he was born.

Okay, so what did I do right?. I'll share tips on how can you help yourself in increasing your breast milk yield. Take note that, this sharing comes from someone who does not have any previous breastfeeding experience and a first time mum :-)

Be Happy:

This is something I always emphasize whenever someone ask me about my yield. I'm an EP mum and my baby doesn't stay with me during weekdays. I only get to see him on weekends when I travel back to my hometown. So it is important for me to make sure that my supply is enough for him to feed on.

Why do I say being happy is important when breastfeeding? There are 2 types of hormones release during breastfeeding that are Oxytocin and Prolactin. Oxytocin and prolactin are the hormones produced during breastfeeding that work together to make milk, establish a letdown, and keep up with the supply and demand of a nursing infant. They are also understood to help with the mother-child bonding experience and to produce a warm and typically content emotional state.

When you're not happy, you have less chances of producing enough milk for your baby. So the next time when you're pumping, try to look at your baby photos, relax or watch your favorite movie or video of your child on your mobile. It helps in having 'let down'.

DON'T RUSH:

Take your time when pumping. Second most important factor in breastfeeding is DO NOT RUSH when pumping. This scenario normally happens to working mums. When they pump, their mind is thinking about the upcoming meetings, project deadlines, work loads, etc. DON'T!!!!!!!!. Stop thinking about everything else but focus on what you're  doing. I know it's hard but think about which is more important.

I normally try to not think about my work load of the day, rather I focus on my pumping while watching YouTube or watch videos of #babyjedi. When your body is in a happy mode, it is easier to produce milk too.

Don't be lazy:

I started pumping to save up frozen bm 2 weeks before I start work. I used to pumped 8 times a day with each session an average of 12oz to 14oz. I know, that's a lot. Gradually, I cut down to 4 times a day with an average of 10oz to 12oz each time. That number is still way beyond reach for #babyjedi. Now that he is on solid and teething, he drink less but my milk stock is not stopping anytime soon cause I plan to breastfeed him at least 2 years.

My pumping schedule used to be as below during confinement and first few months after I started working. However if my breast starts to engorge in between these time, I will pump a little so that it's easier for #babyjedi to feed.

12 midnite
3am
6am
9am
12pm
3pm
6pm

Gradually my pumping session was decreased to max 4 times a day:

6.30am
Between 10.30am to 11.00am
Between 2pm to 2.30pm
Between 5pm to 6pm (ONLY if I need to stay back in office)
Bring 1 or 2 extra bm storage bags if you think you need to work overtime in office.
Between 9.30pm to 10.30pm will be my last pumping session

I don't wake up in between midnight unless if I feel there's leaking which hardly happens nowadays. The engorgement is not as bad as last time.

Do not be lazy. No matter how tired you're, wake up and do the mid nite pump, that is the time where you PROLACTIN hormone is at its peak.

Fatigue:

Another factor that most mothers face is FATIGUE. When you have a baby, your schedule changed. You have more things to do especially FTWM. I know how it feels. But no matter what, take a rest in between. Get your husband, in laws, parents to take care of the baby while you have a good rest. Insyaallah, your milk supply will go back to normal. During the day, try to get some sleep when you baby is sleeping. PUT AWAY any gadgets that might disrupt your sleep.

Caffeine, Cabbage, Brinjal:

Caffein and cabbage are the common milk killers for breastfeeding mums out there. If you are having more than one caffeinated drink a day, then you should probably decrease your caffeine intake.An additional milk killer for me is brinjal. Whenever I take caffeine in the morning or  brinjal for lunch/dinner, I notice that my milk supply will drop a little. So I have stop taking brinjal but not caffeine. I limit my caffeine intake around once or twice a week.

Drink plenty of water (I drink at least 2 or 3 liter a day) or boil dry red dates with longan. It helps to boost your milk supply. However these methods vary in each individual.

Diet:

To be honest, I've never actually monitor what I ate but I avoid food that will decrease my yield like the 3 types of food above. When I was in confinement, my breakfast consisted a lot of bread, cheese, cereal, milo and rice. For my lunch, my mum will cook fish (during confinement). Fish is one of my go to super food. I can feel the engorgement in less than an hour.

My mum also boils dry red dates with longan OR I drink date milk (susu kurma). I used to purchase the Farm Fresh brand, but I stopped cause it was pricey. So I decided to blend myself at home and drink a full glass of susu kurma every morning. It not only helps in boosting my milk supply, it also helps thicken my bm texture.

I don't limit my food portion cause once you decrease your intake, your milk yield will also decrease. Rice is the easiest milk booster. However I avoid eating the yellow noodle. E.g mee goreng mamak type of noodle cause it contain substance that is not good for you and your baby.


Plan your pumping time:

Time pumping:  One way of increasing demand is by pumping on top of breast feeding.  If you are going to do this, it is important to time the pumping to maximize the milk supply at the next feeding.  A lot of women have been told to pump in between feedings to increase demand, but I disagree with this. By pumping in between feedings, you are potentially decreasing the amount that your baby will have at the next feeding. You are also teaching your breasts that the "baby" wants smaller, more frequent feedings, when we really want larger feedings.  Pumping between feedings also decreases the amount of time you have for much needed sleep.  Instead of pumping between feedings, I recommend pumping for 5 to 10 min on each breast immediately after each feeding.  This will be a more efficient use of your time, it will also teach your breasts that they need more milk at each feeding.

Get the right pump:

This is also one of the most important factor. Expensive doesn't mean it can do a good job. Different breast pump has different impact on individual. Purchasing a breast pump is somewhat try and error. You will not know until you try them out. However, there are some shops that allows you to test it out first before making up your mind. But make sure they're clean first.

I'm one of the lucky individual who immediately can adapt to all my breast pump (I have 2, Spectra and Madre) and work tremendously great on my boobies :-)

Bear in mind, do not purchase a 2nd hand one cause the motor or accessories might not work as good as a new unit unless you can't afford it. Advisable to have a 30 mins session if you're a new mum and gradually move up to 20 mins per session. However it depends on your milk flow. Mine was quite long initially but after my bm starts to regulate according to baby's demand, I now pump around 20 mins each session and managed to yield around 8oz to 10oz.

Right after my marriage, 2 years ago, I didn't plan to have a baby. The plan was to travel around as husband and wife, get to know each other and do things together as halal partner. That was before. 2 years later, baby Isa was born. Truthfully, I wished that I had Isa 2 years ago. Meaning, no planning needed . It's actually nice to hear baby's cry in your house :-). Don't include the lack of sleep, by the way, the vomit on your bed, the poo and pee.

Since the birth of Isa, I have not had enough sleep. For someone like me, sleep is on top of everything else in the world. However I was prepared for that when I got pregnant. Sometimes, I lose my cool while taking care of my son due to sleep deprive. Well, I think it happens to everyone.

It was hard for the first 2 weeks because Isa was admitted to hospital due to his jaundice although it wasn't serious but doc didn't wanna take any risk. I was going up and down the hospital like mad woman. I didn't had proper pantang meal, let alone a proper rest. But I was determine. Determine to make sure that Isa's jaundice heal. So although I had to breastfeed him and pump every 2 to 3 hours, I did it. It was tired and I almost gave up. But the strength came out of no where although my body is shutting down but my mind was still going strong.

The birth of Isa has definitely gave an impact to me especially. Isa made me stronger than I was before. A strength that I thought I didn't have. I wasn't like this previously. My priority also changed. Nothing else matter except attending to Isa's need. Whatever I do, it goes back to him. He also make me realize that life is simple. All you have to do is be happy. Isa is a smile-baby. He's in the 'talking' phase now. So whenever you talk to him, he'll laugh or smile. When he wakes up, he smile too.

Now I look forward to see him end of the day. Although I had to travel to and fro on a weekly basis to Perlis, I don't mind doing it and I hope that God will give me the strength to do this for the next 1 year.

Truthfully, having a child really make a different, Your whole world changed. What you think not important, suddenly becomes important to you. Even your reading material changes -__-. That's how much of a changes. Your shopping habit also change. For Juan, his new hobby is collecting Star Wars clothes for his son. Soon our home will turn into a museum.

Many weeks before entering the month of February, I won a planner contest from Perky Preen and Co. I've been following them through a friend and thought of trying my luck. And luck was certainly on my side.

They have a wide selection of planners for you to choose from and they also can customize according to your preference. I believe these planners will make a great gift for your loved ones. Apart from fulfilling local orders, they also ship their planners worldwide. I used to have those plain black, boring planners back in university days where I jot down most of my meetings, classes, datelines.

With so many choices of planners today, they are not limited to only writing boring meeting dates but you can also add in stickers, colorful sticky pads. That's why this planner has.






They have stickers of all sorts for you to stick in your planner. Isn't it cool?






They also have games like below or Sudoku for you to past your time while writing your planner. Colorful and fun at the same time.

Now that I have this quirky planner, I have no more excuse to not jot down important events or occasion in my life. To view more of their planners, visit their official IG page Perky Preen and Co

I was away a few weekends ago with my parents. We traveled down south to Muar to visit my sister cause my dad misses her *but he was in denial*. I had the chance to step into her college and had the experience of how it looks like to be in med school *grine*. I wanted to be a doctor since I was small and that ambition has never changed until today but man, why must people create Maths??? Why oh why. I hate Maths to death and irony now is, I deal with numbers, day in and day out. Karma huh.

Anyway, on the day that I was coming back from Muar, Juan texted me, asking me to inform him once I'm at the border of Penang. It was weird cause he never does that. So I asked him if he prepares a surprise for me since my birthday is around the corner or perhaps he bought my favorite kuih? Neither both. So the next thing I thought was 'Habisla my car, sure accident'. It was not that too. I was too impatience that I asked him to tell me the whole story over Whatsapp. HE GOT INTO ACCIDENT a day before I came back.

So ten of thousands of question were thrown at him. Luckily he was not badly hurt although it left him with wounds on his knee, hands, stomach, elbow and a dislocated right arm. But he can't move a lot and that means, all the house chores are transferred to me *cry a bucket*. At least he's safe and nothing that was serious.

The first thing that came into my thick skull was 'Oh no, all house chores will be on me'. It's true. I don't blame him cause it was an accident.

I'm currently heavily pregnant so the rate of me doing housework? Don't even bother to mention. Even sweeping the house took me like 30 minutes. Let alone washing the clothes, cleaning up the kitchen, etc.

I'm grateful that although he's in pain, he never neglects his responsibility. I know it's hard and I can see that he's trying his best to help me out given the condition I'm in now. I can;t imagine if something worst were to happen to him.

I read somewhere from an online article that pregnant ladies will develop this 'glow' in their 2nd or perhaps 3rd trimester. I doubt it but one thing I'm glad that my hair fall problem is not severe like some mother-to-be. My hair is already thin since born, so I don't need those extra shedding.

I didn't really grow much except for my cheeks and my boobies (obviously it is due to milk production for the baby). I had to change my outfit size from S to M which for me, is still acceptable. I developed pimples especially on the chin during my 1st trimester but it wasn't that bad and soon it diminishes when I enter my 2nd and 3rd stage of pregnancy.

So far it has been a smooth ride, alhamdulillah. Except some slight discomfort at the abdomen, constipation problem (major!), slightly back pain, peeing more often than before (sometimes it's only a 5 minutes gap), trouble in sleeping cause the baby keeps kicking. Yeap, that's all I guess. And I noticed that I walked like a snail. I mean snail could be faster than me.

I've seen some pregnant women who's stomach is as big as a giant egg walk as though they're competing in a marathon. How do you ladies did that? I'm halfway panting here within a few steps from my car door. I wish I'd have requested for a maternity parking at the office. Okay, that part. The reason why didn't I get myself a maternity parking. I hate exercising which I know that is important for mother-to-be cause I love to sleep. So the only solution I can think of is walking to and fro from my car to my cube, twice a day. Or perhaps a brisk walk to our in-house mini mart. While weekends, instead of spending my time walking at the park, I'd rather walk at the mall, doing some window shopping or perhaps get myself 1 or 2 unnecessary stuff. Hahaha. Brilliant idea isn't it.

When I found out that I was pregnant at 6 weeks, the first thing that came to my mind was 'Okay, who's gonna take care of this kid when I'm away at work?' Yeap, even as early as 6 weeks, this question came to my mind. I hate last minute planning because I prefer a Plan A that comes with Plan B and Plan C. Call me psycho but that's how I am. Planning revolves around me.

Getting a REALLY GOOD child care center today are hard, let alone a nanny itself. Getting an old aunty to take care of an infant, you worry that they might be too old to attend to your child (although they have more experience in handling a baby). If you find the younger ones with a 2 year old kid to take of your baby, your child might not get the attention needed. Taking care of an infant requires a lot of your time because feeding time can be very often compare to a child who is on solid food.



Secondly, not everyone has the patience to take care of a baby. Even if you send to a professional child care center, an employee will need to attend to at least 3 babies per individual. It might sound reasonable. But the cost of a child care center is also not cheap. You want a good one, then you need to forget about the monthly allowance you kept to buy the latest Chanel handbag. I'm talking about the medium income wage earner here.

Thirdly, when the kid is big enough to feed himself, sit, walk all by himself, it gives you some slight sense of relieve because you know that they know when they're hungry or when they're full. Slightly independent stage. Unlike babies, they don't know how to hold their own milk bottle which sometimes can cause choke and death. Nanny or caretaker can't watch them 24/7 can they?


So I spoke to my mum on this and she suggested that she'll take care of the baby until he's like 1 year old, then we'll send to a nursery where the cost is slightly cheaper compare to the cost of an infant. They varies according to age. Plus I wanted to send my kid to a good nursery where I know he will not just sleep and eat. At least, there are some activities for his motor skills, learning other languages, learning about basic courtesy or perhaps a swimming class would be great. I'm a kiasu mother-to-be, yes, I am.

I've never really agree to send my kid to their grand parents as we know they can be spoil in certain ways but when I access the pros and the cons of sending my kid to a child care center at a very young age, it's better for the baby to be at stage where he can be slightly independent. Plus, I've witness how my parents took care of my sister, I know that my kid can be discipline from young. I want my kid to have a good foundation like sleeping time, potty trained, disciplined eating time, someone to read bedtime stories, someone to teach basic courtesy. A more systematic kind of discipline.

With both husband and wife working and with the ever demanding increase in cost of living, we can no longer rely on single income. The basic needs of a household can only be fulfilled with both spouse working. You no longer have the privilege to let your spouse be the only sole bread winner.

So sometimes, it's okay to get help from your parents or family members, if they don't mind. Discuss and get their consent before agreeing to anything.At least you know your kid is in a good hands.

When you were young, you dream of someone as handsome as Brad Pitt to be the love of your life until you enter adulthood. Snap!!! By then you realize that handsome can't help you with the house chore, washing the dishes, do the laundry, cleaning your baby's poop. Well, looks are just fantasy we put our mind into. In real life, that doesn't help much especially in marriage.

Looks can change by time. Those man you see handsome will grow old someday and so will you. And then what? Plastic surgery to get back the shape you used to have? Don't think so.

Me and Juan spent our last weekend in Taiping. I've been to Taiping before, years ago but never really explore the place. Just a short getaway before the baby pops out. I needed a break and Juan just recovered from a 'bad' week. He was down with fever and swollen ankle. So I thought it would be a great thing to do. Since we can't travel long distance, this will do too. Just a 1 hour drive from Penang.

It was nice of Juan to bring me out for a brisk walk at the famous lake garden, an iconic place for Taiping residence. Clean, with LOTSA hawker food, children playing at the playground. But try to avoid night and late evening walks. The place can be a little dark with mosquitoes.

Small gesture like this makes me think of how bless I am to be married to a man who has so much patience, helpful (although sometimes he can be annoying), respectful and gave me some sense of freedom to do the things that I like. So I wouldn't be worried much to have someone to help me with the baby once she's/he's out. It takes 2 to make a marriage work, honestly. With both husband and wife working nowadays, the role of a husband does not stop at work place. It now extended to household too and women are not contained in the kitchen, it extend to the outside world. Both parties has their own role and responsibilities and it gets tougher with a baby on tow.

Which husband doesn't make his wife crawl up the ceiling at times? Well, those are the ups and downs that comes in a package when you're married. No marriage is perfect, if there is, I will find it first, don't worry. You want to grow old together NOT half way through the journey. My dad always advise us that PATIENCE is what it takes to make a marriage work. Cause I always wonder how can my dad married to a woman who always nag 24/7. My mum always has something to bring up even smallest thing like cutting the onion in an irregular sizes. Horror I tell you.

Find man who can accept you at your best and even at your worst. With this kind of man, you don't have to worry of waking up without your make up on. The one thing I kept thinking about was 'Will my husband still love me when I'm sick?' Sick in the sense that he still loves you even when you're laying down on your death bed. That was before I got married. But now, I know that my husband will always be there through sickness and health, anytime of the day. Just as my father was there for my mother:-)

Looks VS A Man Who Can Do Housework. You choose.

Well, at some point in life you think you've lost your best friend because you used to be on constant meet up and phone calls. But as you grow up, phone calls becomes lesser, let alone a message.

A real friend is never lost. When you need them, they'll appear. Just like fairy god mother. The definition of best friend is when you feel sad, you best friend comfort you and gives you pep talk. When you're in trouble, she gets into trouble TOGETHER with you. She doesn't judge you when the world seems to walk away from you. She stood by you through storm and rain. You both fought and make up. Best friends always seem to have something to talk about. Even when both are in silent mode, your body language does the talking.

I have a best fiend since high school and although we stay far from each other and rarely see each other, We've never actually lost in touch. Whenever I need her, she always there for me. Vice versa. She's the definition of a real bestie. We don't say 'I love you' in front of each other but through messages. Ego I guess or something that we're not used to. But what's important, I know that she's there when I need her.

It's hard to come by true friend nowadays. People are becoming more materialistic. They don't go the extra mile for a friend. They leave when things are hard.

Dear Alla,
Thank you for being a sister and family to me. Thank you for all the trouble we got together, all the wild night we had. Most importantly, thank you for being the best of friend to me when no one else did.

For more details on SAFI Sahabat Sejatiku, visit their Facebook page here.

1st Ramadhan of 2016 was my 1st anniversary of covering my head since I started back in Ramadhan 2015. I didn't remember until a colleague of mine reminded me during lunch last week. Wow. Time really flew so fast.

Throughout this 1 year, I have learned a lot. Like, you don't just cover your head but you also change the things you do, talk and how you act. You represent the symbol of hijab. Modest. I also learned to be more patient in any situation. I chose to to be quiet when I'm angry cause I'm worry that I might blurt some bad things out.

One thing for sure, I learned how to be closer to Him. Bit by bit, good things came through. I mean rezeki comes in many forms at my door step even the smallest. I also learned that covering your head doesn't mean you're religious or pious than other people. It shows that you've embrace your religion and yourself in a different way.

I'm glad that my change did not cause me to lose some of my friends or maybe I did. But what I know that those who were with me throughout this journey were people I love and care most.

Things has changed ever since my hijrah, I mean in a good way. I see who my real friends are, I get so many supportive words from friends, I became more appreciative of things around me, I became a humble person, I realize that money is not everything, I try not to be judgmental towards people, I try to talk only good things about people, I try to make my parents happy, I try to see things in a different perspective, I try not to be bothered by the worldly things, I try to be nice to people (although sometimes it gets to my nerves), I cursed less, I make new friends who can inspire me to be a better person, I learned to be a better daughter and wife.

As I type this, I wonder what would happen if this change has not take it place. Where am I now? But that was the past. I also learned that changed come in stages. No matter how small a change made by someone, the action that counts. Every first step leads to another.

This journey hasn't been easy for me. There are times when I wanted to go back to my old self. The test were to great for me. But my parents, close friends and Juan always motivate me to be consistent and to be strong. Peer pressure is always there especially when they criticize you or when they question your decision but through determination, you can make it. Nothing comes easy in this world.

On another story:

A few days before the Ramadhan, a Chinese friend of mine texted me:

She: Hey, puasa starts next week right?

Me: Yes on 6th June

She: Wanna meet up for buka puasa?

Me: Can. But can you tahan or not until 7.30pm?

She: I ok. You wanna do this week or after you start puasa also ok. I will preserver

Me: We make it on Friday next week?

She: Ok. Selamat berpuasa ya

She was the first to remind me of puasa even before Ramadhan starts. I feel very grateful to have such thoughtful non-Muslim friend and moved by her action. We knew back when we were doing our Masters and promised to make a point to meet up every once a month no matter how busy we were.