I've been known as a person who does things half way. I mean from young, I would start something but quit halfway through when I find things start to become difficult. But as I grow older, I started to explore and identify things I love to do. I start to separate things that I really love doing and things that I was 'forced' to do.

I now know what I love to do but torn in between whether I should go for it or just treat it as my long life dreams that might not come true. The risk is not big and even if I don't make it, at least I've tried my best. Torn in between paying my monthly commitment and chasing my dream has been something that I'm still struggling with. Should I leave my day job to pursue the things I love or do 2 things at a time? Being married to Juan and having to share the financial commitment truly helps a lot. Knowing that I have a person who supports my dreams and ambitions makes the road less hard.

Even before we were married, we laid all of our financial possibilities and plans. Though sometimes there are some adhoc expenses. 

This time, I told myself, it's either I start now or live in regret for not making the first move. I've been working very hard on a project, in collaboration with a good friend of mine. We shared expectations, dreams and our plans for the company. It was quite a challenge given that we stayed in 2 separate cities. But I tried my best not to travel alot unless if it's necessary. Me and my good friend has been dreaming of having a business venture together since high school.

"It's not gonna be an easy road you know" I told her. I heard a lot of stories about having a business with your best friend will normally end up in failure. I'm trying my best to prove them wrong. Although me and my friend has our differences, I try finding ways to make sure that we both sync in any aspect when it comes to our business. I told her that best friend and business need to be a separate thing and that it is important for us to be very professional.

I told her that "I hope this will be a beginning to all good things that are about to come in the future". She said "Insyaallah".

Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.
-Paulo Coelho

I was drain out of idea on what to write actually until my sister told me something about one of her friend whom I personally knew too.

Let's name him L. 

L came from a medium income household whereby he's the eldest among 3 of his siblings. L is a top scorer in UPSR, PMR, SPM and A-Levels which ultimately got him a placeto do medical studies with Dianah under Manipal Medical College.

I first met L during a briefing session for all selected students prior to their departure to Mangalore. It was in 2014. He was alone eating the food from the buffet that Manipal provided while sitting under a tree next to us. I asked my mum to approach him, asking where is he from and how does he traveled to Melaka. We even asked him if he was funded by any government body. ' My dad pays for the fee', he replied.

'I took the midnite bus from Sungai Petani and reached here around 5am'

We asked why didn't his parents tag along? He didn't want his family to go through the hassle of having to drive him all the way there. I was impressed. So does my mum. We asked what he did at 5am while waiting for the briefing to start at 9.

'I took the cab here. Clean myself up in the toilet and slept on the chair'

Such a brave kid, I told myself. Very determine. L even told us that he has been working hard for this day and he's happy that he made it. We volunteered to send him to the bus station 3 hours before his departure as we had to go somewhere else. L doesn't talk much but he's pretty decent and independent for his age. He takes care of the household and a dog. His dad is always busy, he said and that his dad is the only sole bread winner of the house. Just like my dad.

Fast forward to last weekend. 

Dianah texted me that L had left the college and he departed to Malaysia, 9.30am local time. I was surprised. L's dad was diagnosed with cancer but we're unsure which stage. The fact that his dad was ill and he had mild depression, was a big blow for him that he decided to just leave. L told Dianah that he could not take the stress that medical school had caused him. It was too much for him to handle.

When I first met L, he portray himself as a strong and determine individual. He don't look like someone who give up easily. But you know, human has its breaking point and perhaps that was what happened to him. Dianah said, all he cares throughout his tenant in college was reading books and study. I guess he values his hard work throughout the years and he values that his dad had to work hard to pay for his education.

After listening to this story, I told myself how grateful I was to have such a great moral support and that life be really hard at any point of time.

I felt pity towards L. I'd wish if I had a million dollars in cash, I would gave him some so that he can continue his studies without having to worry if his dad can afford to pay for his fee or not. But I admired his sacrifice. Perhaps he thinks, what's more important now is his dad.

This story also made me aware that I have to be grateful that God has bestowed good health to my father so that he can earn a living for the family. Because of this, me and Dianah has had good educational support. 

Dear L,

I wish nothing but the best to you. Although out meeting is just a short one. It gave us enough time to remember your soft spoken voice. May God protect you and your family and may everything goes back as how it was during the happy times.

Never give up, and be confident in what you do. There may be tough times, but the difficulties which you face will make you more determined to achieve your objectives and to win against all the odds.

~Marta

....no, I don't think my blog is dusty yet.

It has only been days that I have not updated my blog.

So, I've been busy juggling with my 8 to 5 work and preparing for my upcoming project with my best friend. We'll be coming out with a product which I can't reveal as of yet cause everything has not been finalized. There are a lot more ground work needs to be done. Alla has just finished preparing her final thesis but now that she's done, her little brain can come back.

Me and Alla has been talking about this project of our since our high school days :-). It was supposed to be a cafe of our dream but nope, that has gone down the drain. We both don't have the cooking skill so we decided to put that aside.

So, do pray for us. May everything goes smoothly. Insyaallah.