Lately, we all have been hearing a lot about wife being beaten by the husband, or husband got beaten by his wife (yes, it happens to men too). Worst of all is when a girlfriend is being abused by her partner when both does not even have any legal status. This issue has been out there for the longest time.
The definition of abuse can come in many form and not restricted to only physically.
".......An abusive relationship describes a relationship where one person consistently and constantly uses tactics to psychologically, physically, financially, emotionally, and sexually control and have power over another person."
Wikihow
Regardless of how long you've been in a relationship with that person, that is not a reason for letting yourself fool into continuing that relationship itself. It's about loving and respecting your body and soul. Why do you want to be a person who has no respect at all?
It's not easy nor hard to recognize an abuser. You have to be an observant. Notice the changes in behavior and take the first step before things get worst or before getting into a relationship.
An abuser is mainly a smooth or sweet talker. They get things done by being nice to you, at first and gradually the behavior starts to change. However, this vary in each individual. An abuser might also been abused during his/her childhood time and this leads to aggressiveness in that person.
There are a few steps that you can take to recognize if you're in an abusive relationships. Do you feel the:
Loneliness
Depression
Powerlessness
Embarrassment
Shame
Anxiety
Suicidal
Fear
Isolated from family and friends
Trapped with no hope of escape
If you feel any of the above or perhaps all, take action and talk to someone. Talk to your family about this.
"...........domestic violence cases have increased 43.6 per cent from January to September this year to the 3673 cases reported, last year."
ASTRO Awani
As you get into an early stage of the relationship with an abuser, notice the communication behavior of that person. Harsh and vulgar sentences are languages used by these group of individual when they're angry and subsequently comes along with threatening sentences.
".........She also said there is an increasing ‘trend’ of men coming forward to report being victims of domestic violence, some even reaching out to her personally via social media."
Observe also how when both of you are having arguments, how will it proceed? Does your partner starts yelling, throwing harsh words at you or calling names? If yes, you are in an abusive relationship.
".......Particularly, watch for your partner to shut down into a moody, angry sulk, with the only responses to your complaints a terse or angry answer."
Apart from this, notice if you partner is an overly jealous person. He may question you like a private investigator when you speak to an opposite gender. Most importantly, if you being kept away from your family and relatives, it's one of the sign of an abusive relationship.
An abuser is very unpredictable but watch his change in behavior. He could be treating you nicely and maybe one second later he could be intimidating.
This is very important note. Watch how he communicate with his family members.
"........If your partner is rude or dismissive to his own parents or friends, how do you think you'll be treated? Remember that, right now, while your relationship is relatively young, your partner is on good behavior. How will things be when there is no longer any need to impress you?"
".........Notice if your partner treats waiters or waitresses, taxi drivers, concierges or anyone else in the service industry disrespectfully. This is a sign that someone has a mean superiority complex. He divides the world into worthiness and unworthiness and this sense of unworthiness will soon be inflicted on you."
Adopt a zero acceptance policy for violence. If your partner ever becomes physically violent, your relationship needs to be ended immediately. Physical abuse is never "for your own good," and it's never your fault. Don't let manipulative partners bully you into feeling guilty over being hit. It's not okay, and it's most definitely a sign of an abusive relationship, and it will happen again. Get out of this relationship immediately.
End the relationship as soon as possible. Put a plan in place to end your relationship safely. Once you've made your decision, try not to struggle with your complicated feelings. Now's not the time to mourn for your failed relationship or reconsider. Now is the time to make yourself safe.
