From my title, I believe every working adult can relate themselves to me. It's a dilemma that we face every single day at work.

Working and juggling a family at the same time is not easy. I used to share quotes on my Facebook page about putting family first. I can't deny that it is true and nothing more than that. But when it comes to doing it, you just can't. Neither do I. 

There was this incident when my boss informed us that we had to work on a project during one weekend. Coincidentally, I've had plans and hotel has been booked too. It was supposed to be a road trip with Juan. I was torn in between stepping up to my boss's expectation and the trip. In the end, I canceled the trip and chose the project instead. I dun deny that I thrive for success and climbing up the corporate ladder is my goal.

As I was driving back home afterwards, a sense of guilt overcome me. I was so disappointed with myself. Contradict to what I believe that family comes first. It was not the first time. It happened many times that every time this happen, I feel bad but I still do it. Was it because I depend too much on what others will say. Like 'She's not the only one who has family'. Sometimes, I gave chance to those who has children to take leave or give me excuse that they are not able to work on certain date and that I had to cover their ass. But I forget that I'm married and I have family too. I always tell myself to learn to say no to people at certain extend but it never happen. The thought of having to disappoint others make me feel like a bad person. Like I'm not doing enough for others. See, it's all about other people.

So I decided to not work during my company shutdown every end of the year. No peeping office email, not talking about work. So during my last visit to Singapore, I brought my mum too. We did not plan anything. It was a carefree, no-schedule kind of holiday. Meeting up with cousins, my aunties, jalan-jalan cari makan. I wish the 10 days didn't end cause I know that the cycle will repeat again. Do you have this dilemma too? 

I hope it's not too late to wish everyone a Happy New Year 2016. Well, I'm still writing my resolution. Procrastination. Joking. I didn't have any to-do list for this year. I felt that I wanted to take 1 day at a time. 

So I had a 10 days off from work last week and we spent our 10 days in Singapore. This time, our trip is without any itinerary. Just random visits and meet ups. Didn't do any shopping *ok, I lied*.

I believe that 2016 will be a busy year for me and Juan. This coming June also mark our 2nd year anniversary. Wow, time really flies. At the same time, planning for our travel trip for the next coming years. I already have a few countries in mind :-)

That 10 days trip we spent in Singapore was something I consider great. I needed that for a long time. Even though we've already went for a backpacking trip in March last year with my sister. Taking myself off from my work desk is something refreshing. It gave me time to ponder. Reflecting on my failures and achievements in 2015. A lot I tell you. 

So for 2016, I want to start doing things I love. No more 'next year la' or 'nantilah'. Looking into details I have missed. Focus on what's important in my life. Taking out negativity around me especially cleaning out my friend list. 'Bad' friends can really impact your life in the long run. Seriously, they do. So I decided to be picky in choosing my friends from now onwards. I've learned a lot about people in the past.

Choose your friends wisely. How they act has an impact on how you will act. Be around people that will encourage you to do the right thing.

-Anonymous

. “The man dreams of a perfect woman and the woman dreams of a perfect man and they don’t know that Allah created them to perfect one another.” 

-Ahmad AlShugairi

Attending wedding is one of my favorite thing to do although sometimes it clashes with my weekend plan, I make a point to 'show face'. One of the reasons are, I'm able to meet friends and family as well as dolling up. I don't wear anything fancy to office. It's just jeans, flats and shirt. So a wedding is my only opportunity to get doll up with fancy outfit.

Being a petite myself, I find it hard to get dresses. So my favorite go to brand will be Poplook. From their simple daily wear to formal outfits. Except I still have to alter the length of every dress I purchase from them. Even with high heels, it doesn't help much.

So last weekend was the wedding of a friend. Met him through another friend of mine. He's a cool guys with humble personalities. I used to visit his car wash center to get my car washed or waxed. He used to ask my opinion on how to find jodoh. Funny right. But now, after so much hard work in finding the right girl, he found one and I wish him all the best in his marriage and may Allah bless him and his wife with more rezki and cute babies.

Wearing Sandrine cape dress from Poplook, Sofina 3 bag, Scarf.Story shawl in Nude

Things got pretty heat up for the past few weeks that I thought I could not care less anymore. Now that I'm pursuing things I love (although I still have to juggle my day job ), I'd thought I put my 101% effort into it.

You know, I've always been someone who is so hype up or enthusiastic in wanting to make the world a better place and so I started it at work. Well, what I got, not all can agree to that. I have always dream of getting myself ready in a suit pants in the morning with a cup of coffee in my right hand while luggage on the other. Working and taking charge in the corporate world, make tonnes of money and send my kids to oversea in pursuing their American dream. C'mon, in real life?

And then I got married. Immediately, my priority changed. A 360 shift I must say. I started to see the corporate world as a cruel world and only the fittest survive. I knew I couldn't so I created Plan B (By Alexa Blue). I shifted my effort and concentration on matters that I know I have my strength on. I needed motivation and start to do things I love not just for the sake of money but also because I'm passionate in it. So I know business is my interest. 

By Alexa Blue is not just about making profit but also giving back to society as much as possible and making differences in other people's life. Because when you share the things you have with others, the happiness you see in them is also your 'profit' for the after life. I want By Alexa Blue to be a platform in doing many more great things. Mainly, humanity.

Life is too short to dwell on what has happened in the past, to think what people may think about you, or to be sad for something that is not worth your time. So what did I do? I make use of what I have  now and what has been thrown upon me.

I called my dad and we talked for a few minutes just to get my chest clear. He replied 'I think you're going through #midlifecrisis'. I paused and I think he has a point. I've always dream of having this perfect world where everything is so pretty and nice. In that world, no one is a bad guy. When I was younger, I've always imagine my work life as fun, energetic, fulfilling, motivated. Just like the mat salleh culture ' Way the go, mate!'. Like what you heard about Google working environment *if I have a comp like that, sleeping pod will be my first purchase #justsaying* It was not like that. It was more like an Asian parenting style.

Wearing Crystal series instant shawl from By Alexa Blue

I've started to actively putting on makeup for the past few months. Blame on Koreans. Why? Cause I got hit by Kpop fever ever since I bumped into Hermo Malaysia. They're so addictive.

So I have been wanting to have a lip primer for the longest time but I do not know what is the point of having one. Not until I've started using bold color lipsticks. It fade off after finishing my meal and it's so hassle that I need to reapply it every after meal. Sometimes I couldn't careless walking around with half make up face #mukahantu

It was on offer when I purchased the Tony Moly mix face lip primer on Lazada. It took about a week plus before this baby safely arrived cause they were shipped allllllll the way from Korean baby!