The Human Rabbit

We are turning 3 months this month. By this time, I can't see the inai on my fingers anymore. Some said that, for as long as you have those orange manicure on your fingers, you're consider as newly wed. So I guess, me and Juan no longer one.

When I was planning for the big day, it was chaos. So many things to do yet so little time. I managed to get home just the night before the wedding and oh boy, I had butterflies in my stomach and ending up sleeping at 4am. By 8am I had to be at the hotel for preparation. I drove myself to the hotel. No, no driver for me. Yes, talking about awesome bride.

You won't believe that 1 hour before the real reception, our door gifts were not in the gift pack yet. Ask my mum. Although I've hired a wedding planner and got help from a close friend of mine, who was also the event manager at Putra Palace, still I feel like I needed to be part of the planning and whatever that is going on. Being a perfectionist myself, I wanted to make sure that everything are according to plan. Hey, it's my wedding hokay.

When it was time for me and Juan to walk down the aisle (it was our entourage). I was trying to ignore whatever imperfection that I could see in the ball room that night. 'The carpet is not properly put' or 'Goodness, the pelamin is missing something' or 'Hello photographer, please don't take my fugly candid photo'. Instead I was focusing on pulling Juan back so that he won't end up at the meja beradab within 4 seconds. I mean he walked so fast that I was left 1 step behind from the moment we walked in. Our entourage song was How Long Will I Love You by Ellie Golding. So both of us had to make sure that we follow the pace of the song. We didn't even had time for rehearsal. Enough with that short legs I have, plus with the mermaid cut skirt that I had to wear as my wedding outfit. How the hell am I going to catch up on him. It was like cartoon.

Supposedly to be a buffet style dinner, turned out to be a course meal. I panicked but one of my best friend convinced me not to change it. But I was pretty worried that if we were to do it that way, seats will not be enough for the guests. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. In fact it was above my expectations. Guests were happy with the food and the flow of the event were professionally executed. I wish I would have the extra budget to buy walkie talkie for each of the bridesmaid. Surely, the wedding will look like some 007 thingy. Some more with pantun during the opening of the ceremony. Traditional it was.

It was indeed hard for me to just sit on my freaking chair like a princess. But hey, at the end of the day, you gotta put faith on the people you've engaged with during your initial plan and that they'll execute it perfectly. Well, nothing is perfect, but that imperfection which makes it look perfect. Geddit? No? Me too.

The point is, you can't make everything look so perfect. We're not robots. Even robots have flaws. At the end of the day, when you know that these people have put their much effort into making your big day a memorable one, that is enough. Just enjoy yourself and have fun even if you've accidentally spilled that orange juice on that couture wedding dress of yours. Things bound to happen. It's a matter of where and when.

A matter a fact, I'm starting to miss the process when we were planning for the wedding. That rage when things doesn't go my way, disappointment, fitting session, makeup session, looking for a wedding planner, finding the perfect shoe for that big day. The journey was indeed fun. It's once in a lifetime event, so don't take in too much of the petty things. Let it go and things will fall into places.

Pics were taken from my Instagram account. Scenes from the malam berinai.

Denim

12:39:00 PM

Product review: Thinning hair

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DIY: Colored photo frame

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Of having children

4:12:00 PM

You know, once you're married, you have to realized that your priority changes. Especially for the man. You attention swift to another person who, you barely knew in your life. Well, it's a risk but everything comes with it. It's a circle of life.Life can be....strange at time. How the universe work, you can't question.

Well, ever since I got married, there are tonnes of things to plan. Though we have been married for 2 months now, it's time to plan for our retirement, insurance coverage, kids (if you're now planning for one), in case anything happens to you. Spreading out whatever possibilities or emergencies that might occur in the long run. With all cost is rising, you have to be watchful on what you spend. I'm trying to curb the 'oh-that-purse-is-pretty' in me. It's hard, woman. It is. So every time when I asked Juan to buy me some thing, he'll go like 'Do you need this?'. I'll be like walking away. Potong stim at first but eventually I realized how important it is to not spend unnecessarily although my dad has been trying to teach me millions of times but half fail. Hahaha.

As far as I'm concern on kids, me and Juan decided that we will only have them once we're (practically me) ready. Planning a kid is not like planning a vacation where you can cancel at a very last minute. Once it starts, it'll never stops.

People kept questioning me on when I plan to have one consider that my age is reaching the big 3-0 soon. That it'll be hard for me to have one as I get older. They'll give the worst scenario they can think of, convincing me that having a baby at a later age can cause you other complications. It doesn't hurt me. Annoying question to be exact. I know their intention is good. But, is there a need to ask that question? Seriously?.

Our society has this thing where, once you get married, you need to have kid asap. If you do not have one, it might mean that either one of you is incapable. Yes, it happens but not to everyone. People have different sets of mindset. Not that both of us don't want to have kids but it's not the right time yet.

The idea of having small little creatures running around the house has not reach my head yet. Not wanting to be a zombie the next day due to breastfeeding the night before. Many of my friends said, you'll change your mind when you see your baby, that the regret of having to carry her/him for the past 9 months, all the sleepless night, the vomiting, the cravings flew right out of the window. Well, I can't imagine that yet.

For know, I would like to explore the possibilities with my partner. Do things together in a halal way. Explore the world while we can. Try new things. Eat new food. It's fun. Most important is getting back on track after spending every dime we have on our wedding.