The waiting game
9:58:00 AM
So we had a mini get together yesterday for dinner with a few close friends in town. I wanted to have one last dinner before I take a 2 months maternity leave. It was all about food, dirty jokes (one of them is getting married), tears (dramas), laughing and about a cup of warm water -__-'
I wanted to have dinner at a place where we can just laugh as loud as we can and talk craps and we decided to go for Awesome Canteen at Sekeping Victoria. It's not hard to find the place but you might miss the shop lot as it is covered by a big tree in front of the entrance. Parking will be an inconvenient if you go during weekends. The space is huge that you can organize a party or private wedding just for a small pax. Food wise? I'll give it 7 stars. It's just a nice place to hang out and talk but if you're looking to have a good plate of food, then I suggest you find elsewhere.
Ok back to the main subject. I'm turning 9 months in a week time and that marks the almost-the-end journey of my pregnancy and where the WAITING games starts. You know what, I felt some mild contraction while waiting for everyone to arrive yesterday as parking was a problem at the cafe so we decided to carpool. It was an uncomfortable feeling. It feels like you're having your usual period cramp. I think so, cause I never had cramps before. I was indecisive to whether cancel the whole plan or just to go ahead with it. But at the back of my mind, there was a 50-50 chance of me getting into labor this soon cause doctor has been giving me positive feedback on my pregnancy growth. So I don't see anything unusual signs kicking in. But hey, you never know if this little one decided to join in the celebration too.
My feet starts to swollen but it's not obvious cause I have what they call it, 'kulit nipis' so you can't differentiate it. But my fingers are slightly swollen that I can't actually fit into my engagement ring but I force it in too -__- . It feels weird to have bare fingers without anything on it. Baby starts to stretch a lot in the tummy because of the limited space he has in my uterus. Has been actively stretching in the day as well as during my bed time. He is soooo active that I hardly have enough sleep for the past few weeks. So I became a Sleeping Beauty the next day.
If you ask me what do I feel now? One word, NERVOUS. As I do not know what to expect, I'm focusing on reading and researching on how to control my breathing to ease the contraction pain and not being panic when the day comes. But sometimes, I just don't want to think about it and just think about it later when it is time for labor. I always pray my labor will be as smooth as my pregnancy journey. I can't be more grateful than having a great pregnancy experience throughout these 9 months. I've been blessed with a great health and just normal morning sickness. My journey was not as bad as some mummy-to-be who had to endure severe morning sickness or other symptoms through their 9 months of bearing their child.
It's weird how God can turn something bad into good in a matter of time. It's a mystery. And this pregnancy has taught to be even more grateful with what I have and what I've been blessed with. I learn to see the small things or small events as blessing in disguise. I see who my real friends are and what they meant to me. I learn how to appreciate my mum even more thinking of the hardship that she had to go through in raising her family, now that I'm becoming a mummy myself. I realized it wasn't easy and sometimes I take her for granted. I learn to appreciate my marriage even more than it was last time. I learn that you can't do everything by yourself cause you're not a Superwoman. You are at your weakest when you're pregnant, as you're not able to do and move like you were childless.
When you're pregnant, it makes you realize that the world is not as complicated as you thought. It's how you perceive the world. All that matter was your family and you want the best for them. Nothing else matters. Having a kid is a LIFETIME commitment. You can't undo what have been done. It's not like buying a car or getting a house. I've always thought that I will never be ready to raise a child but then again, if you were to wait, you'll never be ready for anything in life. It takes COURAGE to start something and you have to start somewhere right. Am I ready for a marriage last time? No, I wasn't. Everyone knows that MARRIAGE is a gamble but it's one of the many risk that you take in life. You'll never learn if you don't make mistake. But you know, I'm very happy and grateful that I have such great husband who never complains, a great mum and dad and a sister who always there to listen. Yes, we do fought at times but fighting means you get to learn more about them. You get to align everyone in the same goal and objectives.
Pregnancy also taught me to not take things or people for granted. It makes you feel humble. It makes you feel that life is soooo fragile that good things can be taken away from you anytime. I feel so bless to be able to carry this little one for a whole of 9 months. It changed me into a better person and taught me to be humble and patience and that you don't have control over everything. Yes, pregnancy really test your patience -__- You don't lose anything by being a nice person. Instead you gain more in life.
At the end of the day, whether you're pregnant or not, you have the choice to be who you want to be. The decision you make today will definitely have an impact on you in your next 50 years. So don't wait until it's too late to be a good person.
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