Life through my 'lense'
1:02:00 PM
Life has been pretty much easy for me after the wedding. At last I have someone to help me with the house chores. Being a housewife and working at the same time is not easy.
As I mentioned in my earlier post, nothing much changes. Though me and Juan has started living together, our routine remain the same except for the additional laundry that I had to do.
Anyway, thing's been very laidback. Routine changed just a little. I go to work, come back, do the cooking with Juan, do the laundry, watch TV a little before we go to bed. Just like I was a single. Coincidentally a week after our wedding was Ramadhan. So I find that as a blessing as I get to perform extra deed with Juan. We go for our tarawih prayers by bike because the surau is nearby to our home plus it's convenient and easy to park. Juan cooks for berbuka as well, most of the time. I help and cook whenever I can. Juan cooks simple dishes so I think it's faster considering that by the time I come home, it's almost 6pm. So the complicated ones, I cook over the weekend.
I guess this is just the first phase of a newly wed. As time goes by, all these will become part of a routine. But I hope that there'll still be spark between me and Juan as we get older. It's just scared to see some couple lose interest towards each other as years goes by. They do things on their own, eat on their own, no more date nights and when you have children, the kids literally take over your whole life.
That aside, let's go to the real thing. Being the eldest in the family, I'd be lying if I said, there's no pressure or expectation on me to show good examples to my youngest sister. We're 10 years apart so as you know, children learn from what they see and slowly pick up either the good or the bad ones. Well, I'm on the average. As I grow older, things change a little. I start to realize the importance of being kind to your parents so that my sister sees it. Because I know, when the time comes for me to move out (like now), she'll be the next important person to look after the old folks.
It wasn't an easy decision to make. Whether to get married or not given that I have so many commitments in hands(not just financially). It was more about expectations. What my dad would expect of me, what my mum would expect, how my in-laws would expect of me, how people think of me being married. It was a lot to process. My dad is a realistic person. He'll tell facts to you. Not those fairy tales of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty that a typical dad will read to his children before bedtime. As me and my sister grow up, he gave the freedom to us to decide what we want in life. Whenever you ask a question to him, his answers were never No or Yes. It was more of a reasoning and justifying his facts. He'll justify his answer with facts and examples. At times, you'll wonder whether is he saying Yes or is he saying No. Well, it depends on how you perceive things through his perspectives.
When I decided to tell my parents that I wanted to end by bachelor life(especially MY DAD), the feeling is just too much to handle. Sweat, nervous, afraid. It's like having your first injection. No, actually it was worst than that. It was like Hurricane Katrina. It's too difficult to explain. My dad don't shout nor raise his voice even when he's mad or if he disagree. But the way he starts his sentences, makes you nervous. Just the first word coming out from his mouth literally decides everything. From the first word, you'll know whether it's a good or a bad news for you or sometimes, unsure.
Well, I believe as time goes by, I'll have many things learnt and pieces to pick up. Ups and downs, sickness and health. Those are part of the circle of life. I know it's going to be a hard one but with Him, I'll have the courage and strength.
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